Luminary

What do we do in the waiting?

I know that being estranged from our adult children can feel like our history is erased and our future seems hollow. It is a very tough place to find balance. We question EVERYTHING especially who we were as mothers and who we are now.

I get this on a deep level because I have experienced child-loss. I know how difficult it can be to redefine who you are. I HAVE 3 daughters. However one is in eternity and one seems eternally absent from my life. I Have 5 grandchildren that I love with my very breath but 2 of them have been ripped away.  These experiences demand we make a shift. Maybe only for a season but if we continue to use the same map to travel as we did before, we will lose our way. We have to change the map. In the book The Road Less Traveled M Scott Peck says “Rather than try to change the map, an individual may try to destroy the new reality.”

Lets not do that. Lets shift to what our new reality is. What do we do in the waiting?

In the waiting we seek support. You are not alone. Staying silent will not hurry the reconciliation process. I’m not encouraging communication attempts with your estranged child. That is wholly up to individuals. But, if you’re unsure of what might be the next best step, seek support. Seek therapy. Seek trusted relationships. Share the hurt.

Seek connections. Do not isolate. Spend time with friends. Do the coffee thing. Go to a movie. Start a book club. Join a group therapy. Connection is vital when we as moms feel cut out of our childs life.

Why are these two things important? Seeking support and connection? They help bring healing to us. We need wholeness. We need positivity. We need relationship. While we are in the waiting….these make us stronger. These connections can help reveal areas in our selves that need work. We deserve to know the weaknesses so we can be emotionally healthy women, wives, daughters, sisters, aunties & friends.

The third option we can take while we are waiting is to pour out of ourselves into others who are lacking but are willing to receive all the love we have stored up. Find a library and read to children. Find a women’s shelter and mentor a young mom. Volunteer at a children’s center. Support a foundation for families. The list is endless. The beauty of love is even if you pour it all out on one of these suggestions, when the waiting is over and the reconciliation happens, you will still have plenty of love to give. Chances are you will love better.

My greatest hope for you is that in the middle of this mess you will know Jesus and His unending, never lacking, always full, love for you.  The bible says in Psalms 100;5 For God is good and his love is never ending. He wants to be part of the pain the confusion the healing in the waiting. We only have to invite Him.

So here’s your assignment, Find a way this weekend to be supported, make connections and give out of love. Please leave a comment so we can start a dialogue and encourage each other in the waiting.